A Most Uncommon Degree of...Obsessive Pen Hoarding Disorder
The Pen Pilferer of Robb Drive comes clean...Ok, I admit it, I have a slight* obsession with pens. And pencils. And paper. And notebooks.
Yeah. Living in Office Depot would be a dream come true-- aisles and aisles of sharpies!
But am I entirely alone in this? In the quest for the perfect pen (right now, sharpie pens are holding first place, but the BIC jetstreams are pretty OK, although the sharpie has a little bit more of a traditional ink look. Don't get the sharpie erasable pencils, however, since it's not very smooth and hard to write with. The only problem with the sharpie pens is that they tend to wear down after a while and then writing with them becomes a pain, although in the beginning, they tend to bleed sometimes. Color sharpies are ok-- but I digress. Big time.)? Am I the only girl who'd rather go to a stationary store (or Barnes & Nobles) than Outlets at Legends (an outlet mall twenty minutes away. Actually, now that I think about it, it's a pretty close call. I guess it depends on how much paper the stationary store would have.) ? If you aren't clapping along with me right now, you're probably thinking I have a slight**mental problem, but we promise, we don't, precious.
There's just something so cool about paper, the ability to manipulate it*** (through Kiri-E, Kirigami, Origami, decoupage, paper mache, origamic architecture, etc.), the ability to transform it, not to mention --drawing on the idea of subcreation- it's a whole new, blank world with unlimited possibilities. Paper is awesome. Stationary is even awesomer. There's really nothing like getting a letter, especially if the person can write in straight lines (unlike me) and it comes on a nice piece of paper. Notebooks are even better, they're paper, but they're paper with cool covers that come in different colors, patterns, shapes, textures, binding, etc. (I have a little stash of notebooks in my closet that are barely used, but the problem is Mom won't buy me a new one until I finish them...argh, this is so painful...why can't they just remain pure, unadulterated, blank notebooks?) But pens are the ultimate creative tool. The old adage, the pen is mightier than the sword remains true, especially since you wouldn't get two steps out of your house with the later without either the cops or the nuthouse (or both) being called, while the former can be jabbed in any unsuspecting creepy-stalker-kidnapper guy's nose, eye, ear, mouth, or wherever. Plus, you can use it to write in your journal.
That's why the perfect pen is essential to everyone's existence, it's a vital acessory to everyday tasks, as well as transforming the most mundane into the extraordinary. Take the hot pink fountain pen a friend gave me, for instance.Chem notes suddenly became much more eyecatching.
Plus, no boy would dare to come within two feet of the pink scribbles.
Oooh, I should really get a pink sharpie and draw little lines everywhere I go. "That's your side, now stay there. Stay!"
But a pen should not only be comfortable to hold, it should also glide easily. It shouldn't die out quickly, or be tempremental and only work when it's 86 degrees farenheit, 96% recycled paper, and when you're paitiently coaxing it in Hindu, it should also come in large amounts so they're everywhere when you need them, as well as easy to use at any angle. Pens should also influence the way you write. Hot pink means girly, thin, black sharpie pens mean buisiness (or elegies, obituaries, irs forms, and algebra notes****), red means important (or F's, or death, or algebra 2), and sparkly pink and purple grape smelling glitter ink means you need to see a psychiatrist. But no worries, most of America's teen population need to, too.
Just kidding, guys. Kidding.
This is Quiet Girl, hoping I'm not the one who needs to see a psychiatrist.
-Shhh.... you never saw me, I wasn't here...
*ly disturbing
**NOT. Mental aberration. No wonder that girl was so weird!
***No, not manipulate as in "control or influence (a person or situation) cleverly, unfairly, or unscrupulously"-- I repeat, I do NOT have a mental problem...that's been discovered yet...But as in the imense posibilities paper holds, it really is a fascinating medium for artistic expression.
****Yes, algebra is up there with obituaries. No further comment.
*To be said like the Face of Boe*
ReplyDeleteYou are not alone....
I, too, am on the search for the perfect pen. Sonix gels were my favourite for a while, but now there's another I prefer, by Bic. I've used the Sharpies kind before, and that kind I like a lot too.
I don't have much of a pen obsession. I like pencils better. (Books are way better than pencils, too.) But I have a self-invented quote: "You can never have too many notebooks."
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